Julie and I were at the beach recently—not for vacation, but because of a friend’s death. We had some time in the morning, and both of us spent it the way we usually do—drinking coffee, praying, reading Scripture, listening to worship music, and journaling. After a while I came downstairs wanting to share a new song I’d discovered. We started talking, and Julie began to share what the Lord had been showing her.
She talked about how Paul told the Corinthians they were “restricted” in the realm of their affections, in their ability to feel deep emotions. He implored them to expand, to make room in their hearts, to no longer allow their hearts to be cramped or cooped up in a small space (2 Corinthians 6). Then in Mark 9 a man pleads with Jesus to help his son and heal him. After Jesus explains that all things are possible to him who believes, the man changed his plea. He asks Jesus to help his unbelief (rather than help his son). The word he used—help my son, help my unbelief—means to meet an urgent need or to quickly answer a distress call. The man understood that if he believed, the healing would come to his son.
In her journal, Julie wrote this:
Jesus, I don’t fully understand or have words for what all you are doing or what you want to show me, but I believe. Urgently, quickly help my unbelief! I desire to be healed and to quickly be delivered from whatever is hindering my walk or restricting my heart. Jesus, I ask you to quickly and urgently expand my capacity for compassion and empathy and give me the balance of joy!
After she shared, I played the song I thought was so amazing. It’s by Junior Garr, and you can access it here on YouTube. It’s called Waters. The lyrics include these lines:
Take me under the waters Baptize me again Drown me in Your wonder 'Til I'm filled with Your love
As we were listening to this song, I heard the Lord say, “I want you to do a prophetic act. I want you to go and dive deep into the ocean.”
Okay. It’s been years since the Lord told me to do a prophetic act, but I thought, Okay, right. There is a pool here at the beach house. I’ll just jump in there. But the Lord said, “No. The pool is too small. That would be restricting Me and restricting your capacity to be filled with My love. My love is as big and deep as the ocean.”
I thought about getting my bathing suit on, but felt the Lord's direction: “Nope. Just go!”
Julie knew she wasn’t getting out of it either and said, “Oh man, you have got to be kidding me.” I didn’t try to recruit her. I didn’t have to. We grabbed towels and headed to the beach—fully clothed (or pajama’d, as the case may be).
There were a few folks on the beach, but it didn’t even matter. Julie took her glasses off (safely unaware of any sideways glances we might receive). We both took off our shoes and headed for the water. In my mind’s eye I saw myself boldly diving right in. Now this is odd for me because (1) I hate to swim (2) I especially hate to swim in the ocean where there are things in there I cannot see (3) I haven’t tried to dive since the diving accident I had when I was twelve. But I was determined to go for it.
We started to wade in, and when we got ankle deep, I was shocked to feel a wall of fear hit me in the face. Suddenly it felt impossible to go any farther. This wasn’t how I saw it in my head. On our walk across the sand I had envisioned myself being bold and fearless, not timid and fearful! But there are sharks in the ocean and other things I cannot see. I can’t swim well. There is an undertow. I looked at Julie and said, “Oh my God, this is crazy, but fear just hit me like a brick wall. I can’t do this.” And she said to me, “Are you going to be satisfied staying ankle deep?”
She knew me and my love for the Scripture in Ezekiel about water from the temple (Ezekiel 47) and revival coming. She knew I wouldn’t be satisfied to be ankle deep. She left me with that thought and went back up to our towels to take her Fitbit off. While she was gone and as the undertow eroded the sand beneath my feet, the Lord spoke to me. He said, “Just take two steps forward.” I took just two steps forward. Then he said, “Okay now, just take three more steps forward.” I took three more steps.
By the time Julie got back to the water, I was about waste deep. She noticed how cold it was, but then a wave came, and she dove right into it. She told me later that she had determined while putting up her Fitbit that she was going to just go for it and let God expand her capacity for His love and joy. When I saw her dive in, it strengthened my resolve to continue—to make it into the deeper water. To dive into a wave, hat and all!
To obey the invitation to experience more of God, both of us had to get past a certain amount of fear and resistance. We overcame fear of the ocean, fear of the undertow, fear of what others on the beach thought of us, fear of looking crazy. We gave God the chance to expand us and expand our capacity for trust, for love, for joy. We let him revive and expand our hearts. When we pressed beyond ourselves and into God, we were surprised by how much fun we had in the water—fully clothed, looking crazy and not caring, FULLY enjoying the moment like kids!
It is exciting to hear the Lord’s direction and fantastic when you are eager to dive right in. But His direction does not mean you won’t face challenges. When you suddenly realize you cannot see what’s below the surface…when the undertow erodes the sand beneath your feet…when the current seems to be pulling you out beyond your comfort zone…it can be hard not to quit. But press on! He will never leave you or forsake you. If you determine to follow Him into the deep, He is there with you, expanding your heart and calming your fear. So, what is He asking of you? Are you going to be satisfied staying ankle deep, or will you move just two steps forward?
ความคิดเห็น