A cardinal keeps flying into our living room window. He pecks at the glass as he sits on the window sash then flies back to a branch in a nearby tree. He’s been doing this for days, back and forth from the tree to the window. The tapping has gotten to be annoying, and the novelty of seeing this beautiful bird up-close-and-personal has worn off. Now it’s just sad, this tiny bird against the impenetrable glass pane. Of course, the glass is winning this epic battle, but it hasn’t yet knocked any sense into the cardinal. He keeps trying to fly through it.
Many times have I felt like that cardinal, flying senselessly into the glass. Those things I have desired, things that appear to be attainable yet just beyond an invisible barrier that I smack up against in attempt after attempt. I relate to this tiny bird. His attempts are futile, but if he DID reach his goal of getting into our house, he would soon find it was not at all what is best for him. Cardinals are not meant to live in captivity. They are meant to live free. When wild birds get into houses it becomes a flurry of nervous flying trying desperately to get out of the containment of foreign prison walls.
How many times have I struggled to attain the very thing that seemed so appealing, yet that thing would have become my prison! And how many times I DID get through to see myself like a wild bird trapped in a room, willing to do anything to get free! With the beautiful gift of free will comes much risk… Free will reveals hearts.
I came to Jesus after many years of being an avowed atheist. Although I had no understanding of heaven and hell, I had accepted the idea that how could a loving God allow anyone to go to a place like hell, how could he sit back and do nothing against all the injustice in the world? I had no understanding of free will then, nor am I a Master of Theology now. I have a simple, rubber-meets-the-road walk with Jesus. He shows me concepts that help my heart to understand. Early on in my life with Jesus, I asked Him about this. I felt Him ask me if I wanted my husband to love me because I held a gun to his head and forced him to love me. Of course, my answer was no! I want my husband to love me because he CHOOSES to love me. God wants us to CHOOSE Him. A coerced love is not true love. Why would anyone who does not love God want to spend eternity with the One they spent their life despising? God allows us to choose.
God took the risk of free will from the very beginning. Eve took the bait from the enemy. We still take that same bait – why change the lure if you’re still catching fish? The enemy convinced Eve that God was holding something back from her and technically he was right. Eve knew not to eat of the fruit of the tree in the middle of the garden (Genesis 3) yet did not see that entertaining the thoughts of the enemy would lead her down a path.
“For God knows that in that day you eat of it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing the difference between good and evil and blessings and calamity.” Genesis 3:5
Eve had only known good and blessings. The enemy convinces her that God doesn’t want her to be like Him, to know good and evil, blessings and calamity. The technicality comes in that God WAS holding back from her – He WAS holding back evil and calamity because HE IS GOOD and wanted ONLY GOOD for His children! He wanted only good then and He wants only good now. We look at evil and injustice in the world and rather than put the blame on the serpent who set it all in motion and continues to work in the hearts of man to use our free will to do really horrible things. We blame God for not stopping it. It’s the same lie that Eve believed: God is not TRULY and fully good. They took the bait, ate of the fruit, and surrendered their authority to rule the earth to Satan. They became captive to the enemy because they believed his lies over God’s truth. We take the bait today when we do the same. How many of us are captives because we SO wanted to peck through the glass to the things that looked SO good on the other side only to find ourselves imprisoned? How many lies do you hear in your head on a daily basis about yourself that you believe even though they are ABSOLUTELY contrary to what GOD says about you? How many times do we swallow the hook when the enemy tells us that God may be good to others, but He isn’t really good to me? When the Santa Claus version of the Father doesn’t give us what we want, when we want it? Or when we see Him as the “Guy upstairs” ready to beat us with a big stick whenever we falter? ALL lies from the father of lies.
From the garden to the cross there was no deliverance from the enemy. The price for sin that brought bondage to hearts was death. In the Old Covenant, the penalty for adultery, sorcery, cursing or striking a parent, breaking the Sabbath, idolatry, false witness, false prophecy, sex before marriage, and so many other sins all required death. These things that are open doors to demons had a penalty of death – why? Because once the door was open through sin and the demonic influence was there, there was no way to be free from it. Enter Jesus! We no longer have to live in captivity! Through Jesus there is forgiveness of sin and deliverance from bondage. The cross, His sacrifice, brought SOZO – healing, deliverance and salvation! His love made a way!
The God of all the universe, the one who made me and everything and everyone else I see does not need me. But He wants me. He chose me and gave me the ONE thing that I can return as a gift to Him. Free will allows me to give Him that gift, my love. Without free will I would have no way to express my love. Free will allows me to come to the Lover of my soul with my whole heart and allow Him to determine direction for my life. He opens doors no man can open. Faith is trust - believing the One I love is trustworthy and has my best in mind, believing that He will hold no good thing back for me, knowing He sees the beginning from the end and knows what is best for me. I have often thought that life without free will would be so much easier, but then I would have no gift to give my King. I CHOOSE to FREELY love Him – to use my free will to return the love He gives to me and trust Him with my life.
So I have decided to stop pecking at the glass of the “appealing” things of this world because captivity to my own desires is a prison I no longer choose to live in. Instead, I choose to pursue Christ, I choose to come out of the power of the enemy and believe the words of the One who loves me with an everlasting love!
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